We’ve heard it all before, I know. ‘Blogging isn’t what it used to be’, ‘I remember the days when…’ and all of those things, but lemme talk about my experience.
I’m gonna be honest, I’m not that active on social nowadays, or at least, my time spent on social media has most definitely halved (or even more so!) in the past year.
Blogging for me got lonely real quick. I was blind to the fact that I was cancelling plans, not saying ‘yes’ and favouring a night in typing away about a mascara than spending valuable times with loved ones.
When I began Thumbelina Lillie in 2012, over 6 years ago now, I was at a completely different stage in my life. I was on my ‘gap yaaaar’ (although not a ‘travelling-around-the-world’ exciting one) and trying to fill some time by telling my then-2 readers about my latest lipstick purchase.
*Hi Mam & Grandma*
Fast forward two years, I’d won a Cosmopolitan Blog Award, was in University with quite some spare time available and blogging was a different world to what it is now. We’d excitedly wait with a cuppa for Sunday nights for #bbloggers chats on Twitter, upload candid selfies onto IG and take photos of an eyeshadow palette whilst using our floral bedding as a background.
I completely and utterly understand that the past two years have seen blogging take the world by storm, it’s been overtaken by the term ‘Influencers’ and we are now surrounded by a sea of bad-ass lads and ladies creating their own businesses. Those of who I wholeheartedly fist pump in the air when it comes to their successes.
I debate to myself whether I was;
A: Not quick enough to keep up with it all
B: Not really that bothered anymore
Sadly, for me. It’s the latter. Now don’t get me wrong, when I was in my prime beauty-blogger-thumbelina-lillie-extraordinaire (HA!) I was getting freebies through the door a few times a week. Some paid collaborations, some purely gifts for me to try out at my leisure.
I am SUPER grateful for all the brands that I’ve been lucky to work with over the past 6 years. I made some fantastic connections with worldwide brands, attended some brilliant events and met lots of fabulous people.
But I found myself being placed in a box.
& that box just didn’t sit well with me, or maybe I didn’t sit so well in it?
I found my worth as a blogger and how far I’d continue to progress was somehow being dictated to what level of products I got to review, what launches I did or didn’t get invited to and, you know, the usual ‘how many Instagram likes’ I got.
When I had my, I’m calling it, mental breakdown, at the beginning of this year, I felt like it shed a light on a lot of things.
It wasn’t that I’d lost of my love of creating. It was that I was tired of trying to compete.
Trying to compete to the best most influential, most insta-liked, most generous, most kind, most pretty, most lipsticks, most hair, most lush bath bombs, most press-trips-to-god-knows-where.
Who was I trying to impress? What was I trying to prove?
That wasn’t me. It never has been and it never will be.
Back to creating content for me. What it’s gonna be?
Who the hell knows? Or rather, who the hell cares?