Saying No - Advice

Just say YES!’ has been a motto for quite some time now. And although I am all for saying yes to new experiences and opportunities, there comes a time when it is just right to say ‘no’. & d’ya know what? That’s totally okay…

I am going to give it to you straight, in my life I have always been a doormat. Down to a somewhat innocent nature and a fearful self, I have allowed various people in my life walk all over me. Not in a way where I have let them take advantage of me, but in a way that I have always felt like I have had to say yes. Whether it was a fear of missing out or a fear of disappointing somebody, I’ve always said yes. I dreaded the thought of someone bad-mouthing me for not attending a social gathering or an event, so I would just say yes. Yes to everything. Yes to everyone. Within the past year or so I have quite frankly become sick and tired of it, so I decided to make a change and now, I feel better than ever.

Saying ‘no’ more has recently changed my life. I no longer feel restricted with my time and I don’t feel compelled to do things that I don’t necessarily want to do. I feel like I am getting back in touch with who I am, my character and my expectations. It is so important these days that you aren’t afraid to be completely aware of your emotions and how you are feeling, because if something isn’t adding value and happiness to your life, it’s okay to stand up and say ‘no’ to it. If the fear of letting someone down is getting in the way of you – talk to them. If your relationship is an honest one (those are the ones that bring the most value), then your friend/spouse/family member shouldn’t mind all too much. I’m pretty sure that they would appreciate your honesty more than anything. Remember that you can’t please everyone – and that’s not a bad thing. 

Do things because you want to do them, not because you have to. Say yes because you want to. I am by no means (oh, the pun) saying that saying ‘yes’ is a bad thing, that is not the idea of this post. The idea is to recognise the fact that it isn’t the be all and end all and sometimes, saying no can be more liberating than saying yes. If you are honest and mindful with yourself and how you feel, it will reflect onto others and in time you will realise what you value most. Who’s time you value most. Imagine if everyone was actually honest with how they were feeling and did the things that mattered to them? How awesome would be the world that we lived in?

Take the time over the next few weeks of this new year to find out who you are and run with your instincts. Figure out your story. Encourage others. Love. Share.

Megan. xo

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